Dating Tips

Relationship Truthshttp://cdn.madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/ABL-Beautiful_Mother_Africa_by_Gypsy_Mo.jpgThese relationship truths may be a bit difficult to accept at times, but in the end, they will help you weed out the wrong relationships, make room for the right ones, and nurture the people who are most important to you.
  1. Some relationships will be blessings, others will serve as lessons.Either way, never regret knowing someone.  Everyone you encounter teaches you something important.  Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you.
  2. When times get tough, some people will leave you. When you are up in life, your friends get to know who you are.  When you are down in life, you get to know who your true friends are.  There will be lots of people around when times are easy, but take note of who remains in your life when times get tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources they have in their life to help you improve yours when you need it most.
  3. Life is full of fake people.Sometimes the person you’d take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun.  It’s so easy to believe someone when they TELL you exactly what you want to hear.  But when a person SHOWS you who they really are, believe them the first time.  Some people are only nice for their own convenience – the type of people who only call when they need something or come around when it’s beneficial to them.  Not everyone has your best interests at heart.  But sometimes you have to be tricked and mislead by the wrong lovers and friends once or twice in your life in order to find and appreciate your soul mate and real friends when they arrive.
  4. People can easily be insincere with their words.  – When someone truly loves you, they don’t have to say a word.  You will be able to tell simply by the way they treat you over the long-term.  Remember, actions speak much louder than words.  A person can say sorry a thousand times, and say “I love you” as much as they want.  But if they’re not going to prove that the things they say are true, then they’re not worth listening to.  Because if they can’t show it, their words are not sincere.
  5. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.Don’t settle to just be someone’s downtime, spare time, part time, or sometime.  If they can’t be there for you all of the time, especially when you need them most, then they’re not worth your time.  
  6. Harsh words can hurt a person more than physical pain.Taste your own words before you spit them out.  Words hurt and scar more than you think, so THINK before you speak.  And remember, what you say about others also says a whole lot about YOU.
  7. A mistake is an accident.  Cheating and lying are not mistakes.They are intentional choices.  Stop hiding behind the words “mistake” and “sorry” and stop putting up with those who do.
  8. Excessive jealousy doesn’t tell someone how much you love them.It tells them how much you dislike yourself.  And no amount of love, or promises, or proof from them will ever be enough to make you feel better.  For those broken pieces you carry, are pieces you must mend for yourself. 
  9. When people get nasty with you, it’s usually best to walk away.When someone treats you like dirt, don’t pay attention and don’t take it personally.  They’re saying nothing about you and a lot about themselves.  And no matter what they do or say, never drop down to their level and sling dirt back.  Just know you’re better than that and walk away.
  10. People will treat you the way you let them treat you.You can’t control them, but you can control what you tolerate.  Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negative people.  Doing so does not mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.
  11. One of the most difficult tasks in life is removing someone from your heart.But remember, no relationship is a waste of time.  The wrong ones teach you the lessons that prepare you for the right ones.
  12. Resentment hurts you, not them. Whisper a small prayer of gratitude for the people who have stuck by your side, and send a prayer of good will for those who didn’t.  For should these people hear your prayers, those who have been there will know how much you appreciate them, and those who left will know that you appreciate your own happiness enough to not let resentment destroy your capacity to live with a compassionate heart.
  13. Silence and a half smile can hide a lot of pain from the world.Pay close attention to those you care about.  Sometimes when a friend says, “I’m okay,” they need you to look them in the eyes, hug them tight, and reply, “I know you’re not.”
  14. True love comes when manipulation stops.True love comes when you care more about who the other person really is than about who you think they should become, when you dare to reveal yourself honestly, and when you dare to be open and vulnerable.  It takes two to create a sincere environment where this is possible.  If you haven’t found true love yet, don’t settle.  There is someone out there who will share true love with you, even if it’s not the person you were initially hoping for.
  15. Even the best relationships don’t last forever.Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be.  People don’t live forever.  Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.  And remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.
“Little Things” You Can Do to keep Your Relationship
There are those little things that you can do for that special someone you are in a relationship with that will make them feel so much appreciated. As we know women are the needier sex hence paying them some attention will go a long way into making them happy and pleasant to be around. We asked a couple of people that are in a relationship or married what little things they would like done for them every once in a while to make their relationship worthwhile and stronger and below is what we found out and compiled just for you . 
#Allow him to invite his boys over once in a while to watch the above. 
#Take time to make him his favorite meal at least once a week despite your busy schedules and tired evenings. 
#Help him with what to wear by ironing for him and helping him pair his shirt and tie in case he needs your help. 
#Greet him with a smile and a kiss when he gets home. Ask about his day and really listen to him. For once don’t wait for him to get home for you to start complaining about this and that. 
#Don’t come home late drunk and have him open the door for you. 
#Be intimate with him without making him feel like he has to beg you. Try new things and don’t make rules, be “creative” together
#Keep the house and the environs clean and fresh at all times.
#Offer to chip in every once in a while and take care of some extra bills.
#Refrain from nagging.
#Surprise him once in a while by taking him out to have a meal or offering to give him a massage.
# Set one day aside to do what he likes… if it’s getting drunk together and suffering a hangover the next day together or playing a video game…so be it!
#Offer to take the kids away to your moms in case daddy wants to sleep in over the weekend
#Always look cute, men get embarrassed of frumpy looking women.
Men always look like they don’t appreciate the little things and like they don’t care but they do. They just don’t want to look soft. So when it comes to doing little things for them when it’s just the two of you he’ll appreciate. BUT! you will have to try and figure out your man first…


The Little things you can do for your woman to keep her happy:
# Call her back or text when you said you would!
#Pick up your phone whenever she calls you even when you are having fun with your boys or in an informal meeting…she might think you are avoiding her or preventing her from finding out something.
#Clean up after yourself -you don’t have to leave your socks all over the place and dump your wet towel after a shower for her to hang it out for you. And don’t leave the toilet seat up!
#Let her take over the remote for a day or at least an hour and enjoy watching what she loves.
#Compliment her on her looks every morning. Compliment her new hairstyle genuinely when she comes from the salon (you know she’s doing it mostly for you)
#Come home early when you are done with work on weekdays because she will always think you are getting up to no good when you stay out late every night and it’s not work related.
#Volunteer to help in the kitchen or with the children or just surprise her and cook for her.
#Don’t send her to get you everything like drinking water, fetching the newspaper or your reading glasses…do it yourself!
#Take the children with you every once in a while and let her have some “me time”.
#Offer to rub her feet and maybe throw in a massage after she’s had a long day.
#Keep the last shopping list she gave you  instead of asking her to write one every time. Pick some groceries on your way home even if she didn’t ask you.
#Send her a random text during the day telling her you love her, miss her, care about her
and appreciate her.
#Set an evening aside for “date night.” Most women love such.
#Never Never Never forget her Birthday or ‘your’ Anniversary!
It is very easy to keep women satisfied and happy… Just do it right! Showing that you care and appreciate whatever she does for you could be just it! It doesn’t have to have something to do with money most of the time. And remember that the worst mistake you can do to your woman is… ignoring her!
8 Ways to Keep Your Lady Interested
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Keeping a girl interested is something that can be a challenge to a regular guy. No matter how good-looking or funny you are, if you allow complacency to creep into your relationship, she’ll dump you without the slightest hesitation as soon as someone a little more interesting comes along. 

So how can you keep your girl interested in you and make sure she never leaves you? 

Here are some suggestions.

1. Be spontaneous

One of the best ways to maintain your girl's interest is to be spontaneous. Being spontaneous is a requirement for maintaining a good relationship because once things become predictable, things become boring--and once things become boring, the relationship is essentially over. Planning things like date nights and fun activities that both of you enjoy will help to keep things fresh and interesting for your girlfriend while giving the two of you an opportunity to create a deeper bond.

2. Keep yourself up

It is vital that you maintain high standards of grooming. While many men think that they only need to look their best at the beginning of a relationship, what they fail to realize is that the person she was attracted to was that well-groomed individual she first met. For this reason, if you let your standards slip, she will lose interest in you.

3. Be a good kisser

Another important way to maintain her interest is to make sure you are a good kisser. 
The art of kissing is very important in any relationship. In fact, many women put a lot of stock in a man’s kissing ability and some even claim that a first kiss is a solid early indicator of how the relationship will turn out.

4. Have a distinct scent

Smelling good is an important way to keep a woman interested. Having a distinct scent can make her feel safe, happy or excited and can create a series of positive associations with you.

5. Don't be clingy

The moment a man starts getting too clingy in a relationship, a woman will run for the hills. Women are not attracted to the type of man who needs too much support, validation, and constant reinforcement from women. Women want to feel like you need them... but only if you already have your own life, your own ambitions, and your own goals.

6. Let her talk

Just because you've been dating for a while doesn't mean that her thoughts and feelings should be a lower priority for you. Ask your girl interesting questions to keep her interested in conversations and let her know how important she is to you by listening to her and being there for her when she needs you.

7. Make her laugh

Laughter alone can make women fall in love with you. Do not be too serious and do not be afraid to throw a joke in your interactions with her. If you and the woman you are dating can laugh together, you'll be creating good memories that will linger in her mind forever.

8. Be mysterious

The mystery behind a man is one of the key elements to keeping a woman attracted to him. Offering a woman too much information upfront is the equivalent of revealing all your cards, without giving her the chance to develop an attraction for you. Keep some aspects of your life a secret and reveal yourself gradually as the two of you continue dating and become more comfortable with each other. This way you’ll always leave her wanting more.
5 Signs That a Woman is Cheating On Youhttp://cdn.madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/black-men-versus-black-women-e1308752916831.jpg
Have you ever suspected your girlfriend to be cheating on you at one point in your relationship? The thought of having a cheating girlfriend is a concern that haunts many guys in relationships. 

Women can be just as unfaithful as men, so if you think that your girlfriend is doing something unusual, try looking at these 5 signs on how to tell if she is cheating on you. 

1. She's engages in secretive behavior
 
Do you find strange numbers on her cell phone? Does she receive strange phone calls that are always "the wrong number?" Does she suddenly keep getting called into work at odd hours and often has to be away on business? If your answer is yes to these, then consider them as indicators that something is really going on. Other examples of secretive behaviors that indicate your girlfriend may be cheating are things like her no longer sharing her daily events with you, her suddenly deleting text messages from her cell phone and coming home with her hair messy, make-up smeared and clothes wrinkled followed by pausing and looking away when you ask where she's been. 

2. Sudden changes in her appearance

Although there are girls who suddenly become interested with clothes, if you notice a sudden change in your girlfriend's appearance, e.g., a drastically different hair style or a sudden desire to lose weight and get in shape or a sudden need to buy new, sexier items of clothing, the reason behind it could be to create a new look and feel more attractive to the man she is seeing behind your back. 


3. She shows loss of interest
 
When she is with you, does it appear her thoughts are on someone else? Does she avoid talking to about the future of your relationship. Does she keep forgetting important dates, or other things about your relationship, that she used to think were "important" to both of you? The reason for this lapse in memory could be due to the fact she already has that someone else on her mind. If she used to be needy of your attention but suddenly doesn't need your company, constantly discusses some guy she works with or met endlessly with admiration and begins avoiding you, your calls, your texts, etc... there's a good chance your girlfriend is cheating. 

4. She checks out other guys in public 
Cheating girlfriends sometimes tend to flirt excessively with other men. Girls will typically only check out other guys for fun or to test you; however, if your girl has never been a “flirter” before, and now she suddenly is on a constant basis, it may be a bad sign for your relationship. If you notice your girlfriend openly checking out other guys and keeping deep eye contact with them while you're right there beside her, it could be her way of sending you a subtle message that she might actually be shopping around for another man. 

5. Physical contact with you decreases
 
This one should be obvious. If a woman isn't sleeping with you, in all likelihood, she's sleeping with someone else. So if your girlfriend begins rejecting your advances or moves away from you when you initiate physical contact regularly without an obvious reason, this is one of the major signs that she wants to break up.

Why A Bad Start To A Marriage Is A Good Sign

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From TIME.com:
Few couples would choose to marry during periods of severe relationship stress, but then, trials come unexpectedly — you can’t plan for layoffs, illness or a raging wildfire that forces a change in wedding venue 24 hours before the big event. That bad start, however, can have benefits. While an abundance of research shows that stressful life events often amplify a couple’s problems — turning a husband’s short temper into abuse, for example — and increase the likelihood of divorce, studies also show that hardship can have an upside. For some couples, it’s protective, helping solidify their commitment into an unshakable us-vs.-the-world resolve. Data from the Great Depression suggest, for instance, that economic adversity held many couples together. “Those families who were cohesive before the Depression, they banded together as a team and really became more cohesive in dealing with the economic crisis,” says Gottman — surely good news for the untold numbers of newlyweds who have faced job loss or foreclosure in the past year.
Surviving the gauntlet of misfortune early in a relationship can be a valuable litmus test, say counselors. A relationship crisis “smashes the illusion of invulnerability,” says William Doherty, a psychologist and marriage researcher who runs the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota. That illusion, he says, “was going to go away anyway, and I don’t think there’s any great loss to it going away sooner than later.”
Do you keep secrets from you spouse??
So what about all those unlucky couples whose early years are marked by nothing but peace and happiness — what is their litmus test? There are two key predictors of a resilient relationship, experts say: mutual support and a willingness to sacrifice. In a recent study of newlyweds who became first-time parents, Gottman found that two-thirds suffered sharp drops in happiness during their child’s infancy, under the strain of new parenthood. But for one-third of couples, the experience was cohesive and increased intimacy. Gottman says he could predict which couples would blossom under stress: those in whom, years before, he had observed better communication and more mutual support. “Even at the time of the wedding, the men were more respectful of their wives, prouder of them,” he says.
Beyond respect and pride — and even love — it may be the willingness to sacrifice that leads to a lasting marriage, according to researchers. In a 2006 study by Scott Stanley, the director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, and colleagues found that the willingness to forgo personal interests and put a partner’s needs ahead of one’s own was directly linked to a long-lasting, happy marriage — provided that such sacrifices weren’t damaging or one-directional. “If your partner has a really big opportunity to sacrifice because of some crisis in your life, and they don’t, that’s pretty bad,” says Stanley.
4 Signs of a Controlling Womanhttp://cdn.madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/man-and-woman-yelling-378x310.jpg

Does your girlfriend control conversations, attempt to prove you wrong and constantly rewrite past events to make her point? Does she force you into agreeing with her and threaten to leave you if you don't do as she says? Do you constantly find yourself on the defensive, having to explain all your actions and words? Does she break down your self-confidence little by little until you begin to believe you're nothing without her? If so, you might be dating a controlling woman. 

These over-dominant women believe that men and relationships should run no way but their way and will even convince their men that it's for their own good. If your girlfriend exhibits any of these 4 tell-tale signs below, you may very well be in the hands of an overbearing, emotional bully and unless you like having your life steered for you and your opinions made by someone else, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

1. She makes your decisions
 for you
Controlling women will define you by telling you what you think and feel. They'll tell you when you can go out and when you can invite the guys over to watch the game.These manipulative women believe that they should be able to make every decision in your life and will explode into long tirades when you do not behave in line with their plans. They believe that they know what's best for their men and will even go as far as selecting the clothes you wear, choosing what movies you'll watch and deciding what you should or shouldn't eat.

2. 
She always has to be right
Controlling women must be right at all times. These women are never wrong, and everything is always your fault. They constantly use lines such as "I didn’t do that," "I didn’t say that," "I don't know what you’re talking about," and "It wasn’t that bad."These women control men by shaming them for their thoughts, actions and every time they voice an opinion. They never try to understand your views and will constantly threaten to abandon you, end the relationship or give you the cold shoulder if you don’t play by their rules.

3.
 She tells you how to spend your money
A controlling woman will tell you that you're spending way too much money on things you enjoy, like drinks and eats with your pals, and suggests you save up for more important things, like her new wardrobe. Before you know it, she'll eventually become in complete control of your credit cards and your pay check. 

4. She keeps constant tabs on you

A controlling woman will call you 10-15 times per day to keep track on what you're doing, who you're with and where you're going next with each call. She also expects you to call her multiple times a day and demands to be by your side as often as possible.
30 Ways to Get a Guy to Ask You Out …30 Ways to Get a Guy to Ask You Out …I
f you wonder whether there are Ways to Get a Guy to Ask You Out, the answer is, yeah!  In fact, there are quite a few effective ones!  So if you like this guy, call it a crush, butterflies in your stomach or love at first sight, you can easily get HIM to like YOU enough to ask you out!  Of course there is no unique sure shot formula, as all guys are different and so are the circumstances, but do not despair!  There are 30 Ways to Get a Guy to Ask You Out that have proven to be really working.  And if you try any or all of these awesome ways to get a guy to ask you out, trusty Cupid will do the rest

1. Be yourself if you want him to ask you out

No one likes deception. Think about it. If a guy was extremely gentlemanly on the first date (opened doors for you, pulled your chair out et al) and all of that magically disappeared when the two of you got a little more serious, you would feel cheated right? So don’t do the same thing. Yes, we all tweak our normal selves to impress the other person (read our tips on ways to dress to impress on the first date), but there is a fine line between tweaking and being downright fake. So listen to him when he talks about his favorite sport but don’t pretend to be a born fan just to get him to like you and ask you out.

2. Extend being yourself to external appearances too

Don’t dress a certain way because you think that’s what he would like. That’s a sure-shot sign that you are trying too hard, especially on a first date. When I was 15, I had the biggest crush on this guy and I knew for a fact that his ex always had her face plastered with makeup. If he liked her that way, surely he would like me with a little blue eyeshadow? I never found out because the one and only time I experimented with it, my best friend (thankfully) caught me before anyone else could see me and made me swear I would NEVER do that to my face again. I can’t imagine what would have happened otherwise. I probably should have read these makeup tips for a successful first date. Moral of the story: If you are uncomfortable with very short skirts, high heels and dramatic make-up, steer clear of them. Try and figure out what works best for you and rock that with confidence!

3. Accentuate your best physical features

There are some things you can wear and then some clothes that you should just not wear especially on a first date. Fashion trends are going to be the death of us one day! Don’t follow them just to get a guy to ask you out because in the bargain, you might be highly uncomfortable and that’s not the best thing for your confidence. Instead, figure out what suits your body and find ways to accentuate your best features.Draw attention to your killer legs, wear colors that bring out your gorgeous eyes, wear a belt to emphasize the curves of your waist, you get the point. Just remember that learning what looks good on you is a process. You may goof up every now and then but that’s okay. Just be comfortable and enjoy the process! Don’t forget to read this post on how to find the most flattering clothes for your body type.

4. Don’t fake it

While cultivating the same interests as the boy you like is great, you can’t fake it. As you’ve already read, one of the most important ways to get a guy to ask you out is to, above all, be yourself. So, faking an interest in football or pretending you’re also wild about video games isn’t the best idea. You can be interested in them – and interested in HIS interest – but don’t fake it yourself. That could come back to bite you in the butt later.

5. Rock the eye contact to get a guy to ask you out

Eye contact really is a great thing. You can say so much with your eyes – like telling him you’re interested. Whenever possible – again, without being too obvious – try to catch and hold his eyes. If you catch him staring at you, that’s even better. Capture his eyes when you do, and smile at him. He’ll definitely know you’re interested too, and that may make it easier for him to approach you.

6. Say cheese

One of the most powerful weapons we have to melt a guy like silly putty is a beautiful smile! So whenever you bump into him, use your pearlies and use them well! There’s no easier way to show a guy that you are friendly, approachable and most importantly, interested in him!

7. Send clear signals to get him to ask you out

It’s hard trying to figure out what another person’s thinking so if you want a guy to ask you out, make sure you’re sending out crystal clear signals. You don’t have to publicly declare your love for him or anything but make him feel special by flirting with him and treating him differently than you do other guys.

8. Let him know you are available

One of the most important ways to get a guy to ask you out is to find a way to show him subtly that you are available and very much single. Try and weave it into general banter. That’s what I do. Also, this would be the perfect way to find out if he’s single or no. If the coast is clear, yay you!

9. Take the initiative

Shrinking coy violets rarely get noticed. So if you like a guy and you want attention from him, stop waiting and praying and take that first step…no matter how scary! The next time you see him walk by, flash a lovely smile and say hi. You can’t possibly go wrong with that! Here are some other ways to take initiative without scaring him off. Confidence is enamoring and sometimes, you might need to push yourself to take that first step but it’s so worth it! These tips to show you are interested in him without being too clingy are sure to come handy.

10. Make it easy for him to ask you out on a date

By that, I naturally don’t mean you should be easy. You shouldn’t throw yourself at him, either. What I mean is that you should make sure he’s in the kind of position where he’ll feel comfortable asking you for a day. The wrong way to get a guy to ask you out is to constantly be surrounded by a group of friends. That might make him feel really uncomfortable, so make sure you have private moments together without making it too obvious.

11. Find out what he likes

There are certain specific things most men love talking about: cars, sports, action movies to name a few. Find out what his likes and dislikes are and try to steer the conversation in that direction. And like I said earlier, don’t pretend to be a fan of something just because you think it’ll get him to ask you out. At the same time, don’t shoot down his interests by saying something like “I HATE sports.” Seem genuinely interested and listen to what he has to say. And if you really hate something he likes, try to playfully argue with him. That will bring you closer. Remember the keyword: playfully!

12. Seize every moment together with him

I know that sounds a little vague, but really, ladies, carpe diem. Don’t let fear hold you back! Guys like outgoing girls. I don’t mean be obnoxious and in everyone’s face – I know we all hate THAT girl. I mean, don’t let fear rule you. If you’re at a karaoke bar, rock it out. Remember that life is a series of opportunities, so don’t let a single one pass you by when you’re trying to get the guy you like to ask you on a date.

13. Show off your witty side

You’ve heard it said that guys love a girl who can make them laugh, right? More often than not, that’s entirely true and that’s what makes this one of the ways to get a guy to ask you out. If you’ve got a sense of humor, don’t be afraid to show it off! Better, be witty, because that takes both intelligence and humor, and there’s nothing sexier than that!

14. Don’t trap yourself in the friend field

A lot of girls try to be a guy’s friend first, and that’s a great idea – theoretically. The thing is, you have to be careful when you do this. Great relationships form when you’re friends first, but you don’t want to get trapped in the friend zone. He has to see you as a girl, too, not just one of the guys. Otherwise, it might never occur to him to go out with you, and that’s definitely not what you want. You can find the balance by never letting him forget you have a feminine side while still coming off as the girl with all the cool points.

15. Don’t get your friends involved

Many so-called relationship experts will tell you to get your friends involved in letting him know you like him; they tout that as an excellent way to get a guy to ask you out. I patently disagree. This approach can be way too childish, and might turn him off. If your friends can be subtle and feel him out a little, to see where his thoughts lay, that’s one thing. If they’re going to be all, “Oh em gee, our friend totally likes you, do you like her??” then definitely don’t let them take that approach.

16. Actions speak louder than words

You took the initiative and used flirting tips to make him notice you and it worked! You and your crush are now talking to each other and now you want ways to increase sexual tension between you and your crush. Here’s what you need to do. Glance at him often and if he catches you looking, smile. When the two of you are talking, look right into his eyes, listen to what he says and laugh at his jokes. Twirl your hair. And please make it look playful as opposed to forced. Brush your shoulder or arm against his every now and then. Actions do speak louder than words and you should take a moment to read about these body language signs of flirting. All this will make him realize that you are very interested in him.

17. Hang out with him

I have seen a lot of comments from readers who want a guy to ask them out when they’ve barely even interacted with him. That’s not how it works girls! You need to get to know him and give him a chance to get to know you. Hang back after class, ask him to help you out with homework (even if you don’t need it), ask him to teach you how to play a musical instrument (if he does play one), the excuses are endless and any will do!

18. Get your flirt on to get him ask you out

This is another one of those occasions where you have to be careful, but as long as you know how to find that fine balance, you’re all good! Flirting with a guy – following other tips mentioned, like maintaining eye contact, finding subtle and innocent ways to touch him, and so on – is an excellent way to get a guy to ask you out. Just don’t go overboard, because you can come off desperate, and that will turn off a guy very fast.

19. Listen to him

You love it when your friends and dates listen to you, right? Well, he does too! Listening does more than let him know you’re interested, though. It will also allow you to pick up subtle clues and hints about what he’s feeling, and that might clue you into a better approach to entice him.

20. Don’t talk about yourself too much

I know a lot of girls who think the perfect way to get a guy to ask you out is to tell him every single thing about yourself. That is not a good idea. If he mentions liking a restaurant, you can say you like it too – but don’t “regale” him with anecdotes and stories from every visit you’ve ever made to the place. That’s not giving him a hint; that’s hitting him over the head with a heavy brick of information. Keep some of the mystery – let him find out about you at his own pace!

21. Discuss the right topics

You’ve done everything you’ve had to do. The flirting is on full swing. You’ve probably also used these tried and tested punch lines for getting asked out. Now all he has to do is actually ask you out to one of these best places for a successful first date. Some guys are smarter and will usually ask you out by this point. Others need a few more hints. So what I do is discuss stuff like upcoming concerts, new movies and restaurants that I can’t wait to check out. Sound excited without sounding too desperate and you never know, an invitation may just be a breath away. When you do get to that first date, remember that certain topics are just off limits. Here are some things not to discuss on a first date. Also, read our post on little known conversational tips for a successful date.

22. Stop at a high point

What I mean by this is when you are having a conversation with him and you feel like it is dwindling or that you may be running out of things to say, find a believable excuse to say goodbye and cut it short. I know it’s the last thing you want to do but trust me this way, he’ll look forward to your next meeting. The idea is to leave him wanting more of you. This is one of the more cleverer ways to get a guy to ask you out.

23. Position yourself cleverly

If the two of you are about to spend a decent amount of time together, just remember to keep changing your position often enough without seeming too fidgety (These ways to calm the nerves before the first date will come in handy). Face to face interaction usually means maximum eye contact and that will help you connect better. But sticking to his side, especially in a crowded room would mean being able to be closer to him physically. Remember to lean into him and talk softly. It’s all about clever and timely positioning. And like I said, don’t do it too often or you might get asked “Do you wanna use the restroom?” like I did!

24. Have fun by yourself too

If you are with another group of friends, concentrate on them instead of having one eye on him constantly. Don’t spend your entire time watching his every move like a hawk or you’re going to seriously spook him out. Instead, enjoy yourself with your friends. Get them laughing or talking animatedly to you. This will make him wish he was with your crowd, especially with you. And if he happens to walk by, a warm smile and a hi would be perfect. And what if you are in a group with him? Well, read these ways to behave with your crush when you are in a group. I promise they’ll help.

25. Make him feel good

How you make a guy feel is probably the most important factor in getting him to fall for you and eventually ask you out. Remember, flattery will get you everywhere. Believe it or not, men love compliments as much as we do. So don’t hesitate to tell him that he has an adorable smile or that you love his shoes or the perfume he’s wearing. As always, remember not to go overboard with compliments or you will come across as fake. Also, be there for him and be nice to him. It will make him want to spend more time with you.

26. Be confident

How can you expect a guy to fall for you if you don’t love yourself? Confidence is one of the most attractive features about someone and when you are comfortable in your own skin, it shows! Just remember that you are wonderful and unique and that no one is perfect. Of course, be careful not to cross that thin line between confidence and cockiness.

27. Have a sense of humor

No want wants to date grumpy grandma. Of course you don’t have to have a smile plastered on your face 24/7 but it’s nice to be around someone who is cheerful and will laugh at your jokes (or tell him off playfully if you don’t find them funny) and most importantly be able to see the funny side of difficult and embarrassing situations. Remember, “if you can’t laugh at yourself, life’s gonna seem a whole lot longer than you like.”

28. Don’t get obsessive

I know that you think you’re in love with him and that he’s the one but no matter how intense your feelings, don’t give in to any stalker tendencies you might have. Don’t text him constantly, don’t call him all the time, don’t “accidentally” land up where he hangs out or wait for him outside his class everyday. I assure you that there’s no faster way to send a guy running in the opposite direction. All men need and appreciate a little space!

29. Be patient about getting him to ask you out

“My mama said ‘you can’t hurry love’” and it’s so true! I know you can’t wait to get into a relationship with him but nothing kills a budding love story like impatience. You’ve done your bit and put your heart out there and now you need to be patient. Give him his space and time to figure out how he feels about you. I’m not saying you have to wait a lifetime but let things progress naturally. The results are far sweeter that way too…

30. If he does not ask you out, don’t take rejection personally

I know this seems like a morbid tip in a post of ways to get a guy to ask you out but there is a little chance this might happen and I think it’s very important to not take rejection to heart. If you’ve tried everything and he doesn’t seem to respond or has turned you down, understand that at the end of the day you can’t force feelings onto someone. He either does or doesn’t feel the same way you do and the important thing is you tried. So move on and remember there are plenty of fish (some better) in the sea. ;)

How to Write a Love Letter


Debora Campos
The magic of a real, physical letter cannot be duplicated by any of the new forms of communication. A letter is, in the end, something tangible, something we can touch, keep and hold and that can be preserved in a way that emails, phone calls or text messages will never be. A love letter is an actual testament of love – and it’s a record of your relationship that will stay with your woman for the rest of her life. It’s not cheesy and it’s by no means outdated – writing a love letter is a beautiful and very romantic thing to do, and receiving one can really mean a lot for your girl.
A girl cannot hear too many times that you love her and she’s beautiful – she’ll never get sick of it. You must keep telling her over and over, no matter for how long you have been together. It matters – and a letter is one of the best ways to do it. This guide is meant for those of you who have a girlfriend already. I don’t suggest writing love letters to girls you haven’t been with it – at least not without a careful analysis of her case. But then, if you are single, use the ideas an inspiration for your seduction!

How to Write a Love Letter

It doesn’t matter if you are not a good writer. What matters with a letter is that you are true and honest about your feelings – that from the bottom of your heart you believe what you are writing.
There’s no structure, or exact how-to to write them. But if you are lacking ideas, you should definitely work on these areas:

1- Keep Telling Her How Great She Is And How Much You Love Her

Again, it’s never enough. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you love her – keep telling her, she WON’T get tired of it.
What are the nicest things about her? Is it her eyes? If so, write her that you love her eyes, and so on. Tell her that you love her for her personality, and be precise about what exactly is what drives your love for her.

2- Recall Great Moments You Had Together

Write about your best times with her – trips, dinners, walks, conversations and just plain random moments. Tell her how great they were, and how much you enjoyed those moments with her.
Recall the feelings and magic from the moment – you holding hands, your breath, your kisses, and the smiles, vibe and love that you have in your memory.

3- Tell Her How Being With Her Makes Your Life Better

It’s a very strong thing to say – but, at least I, if I’m with a girl it’s because she makes me a better person. Not all girls are equal – a couple inspire, others are plain loving and others are very supportive. Find out which type(s) is your girl and tell her how great she makes you feel.
This is where you put the smart compliments – those from deep inside and those that matter most. If you are very inspired that your girlfriend got a new job, got into a school, or whatever thing she did – TELL HER. Tell her how watching her makes you fight for more. Same if she supports you, etc.

4- Speak About Future Adventures and Good Moments to Come

Future Adventure Projections, as I wrote, are very powerful – and they work well not only while you try to seduce girls, but also if you have one already. They keep the spark lit, and they make girls think and meditate about the good times to come with you.
Tell your girl you are looking forward for more hugs and kisses, for great times to come and, also, point out one or two things you want (and will) do with her. This is probably the most important part of all!

5- Reaffirm Your Love to Her

It’s never enough! Close the letter telling her how happy you are to be with her, how great she is and that there’s no other girl in the world that can come close to her. Tell her you love her no matter what, and that you will keep loving her today, tomorrow and for much more time.

Last Details

Post the Letter. Be old fashioned – put the stamp, seal the card and send it via the good old postal mail. It’s old fashioned, but it will surprise her much more. She’ll be browsing for the bills and stuff and voila, there’s your letter. She’ll love it.
Be Spontaneous. Be random – just write her one day out of the blue without any special purpose or special reason. The least she expects the letter, the more surprised she will be, and the stronger the effects will be. Don’t wait to her birthday, why not write her tomorrow?
And I mean it – why not, if you have a girlfriend, write her a love letter NOW? I totally recommend you to! And I’m looking forward for all of you to share your experiences in the comments below.

Is she the wrong woman for you?

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Women aren’t the only ones who can make the “biggest mistake of their lives” by marrying the wrong person. That’s the message male readers have been sending authors Jennifer Gauvain and Anne Milford since the publication of their book, How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy: Is He “the One” or Should You Run?, which was born out of Milford’s personal experience with canceling her own wedding and Gauvain’s years of experience as a social worker and therapist working with couples and families. The book encourages women to cut their losses and run if they have a hunch they’re heading down the aisle with Mr. Wrong, regardless of how much time and money they’d invested already in the relationship. Milford and Gauvain are back to set the record straight by explaining how the book’s advice is just as applicable men as it is to women and to discuss the relationship mistakes that men in particular need to watch out for.

Q: Is there a reason why your book isn’t called How Not to Marry the Wrong GAL instead of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy?
Milford: The book was inspired by my own near-miss at the altar. I almost married the wrong guy — but I called off it off six months before the wedding day. In the aftermath, I was shocked by how many women confessed to me that they wished they had the courage to cancel their own weddings. The line I heard repeated over and over was: “I knew that I was making a mistake as I was walking down the aisle” (99.9% of the women who shared these secrets were divorced, by the way). However, I did talk to several men who made the same mistake. They knew they were marrying the wrong woman, but walked down the aisle in spite of their misgivings. So initially, the book was going to be about marrying the wrong man or woman. However, we soon realized that it would be more practical to limit our audience to one gender. As two women, we chose a female audience. Regardless, the advice contained within How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy absolutely applies to both women and men.

Q: Are there bad relationship experiences to which men are particularly vulnerable? In How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy, there are certain types of “bad boyfriend” traits that come up — irresponsible, addicted, controlling, etc. Are there “bad girlfriend” traits that men should watch out for?

Gauvain: Essentially, men date the wrong women for many of the same reasons women date the wrong men: external pressure from their friends and family, loneliness and insecurity, believing that he can fix any faults she might have. However, after talking to several men who wanted to share their relationship stories gone wrong, we discovered that there are a few fundamental reasons for why men stay with the wrong woman. Most of the men reported that they felt a sense of honor, duty or obligation to do so. They did not want to hurt the woman or disappoint her family or friends.

Guys are just as tuned in to those relationship warning signs, or what we call “red flags,” as women are. These red flags offer clues about a partner’s character. Red flags are different for everyone, but they can be defined as any troubling actions, attitudes or behaviors. The vulnerability issue addressed in the book lies in the fact that most of these red flags go ignored. We spoke to one man who was dating a woman who had a drug and alcohol problem. He was initially attracted to her “life-of-the-party” type of personality, but this soon progressed into her passing out every night. Deep down, he was disgusted and extremely disappointed in her — but he also felt like she really needed him and that somehow he could rescue her from her own demons. Ultimately, she began stealing money from him and was bringing her drug dealers into his home. When all was said and done, he had invested over two years in the relationship and eventually ended all contact with her. He thought she needed a knight in shining armor and he took on that role with ease. Unfortunately, she knocked him off of his horse, stole it and left him to figure out how to get home!

There is a lesson here for all men who might be dating the wrong woman: don’t believe that you can save another person. You don’t have that much power, nor do you want that much power. If you are dating a woman who lies, cheats, is addicted to drugs or alcohol, spends too much money, is disrespectful to others (including you)… we can almost guarantee that you will end up being miserable. Learn to recognize these red flags, acknowledge them, and then you will be on your way to a happier, more satisfying relationship with the right woman.

Q: Which of the book’s guidelines for knowing that a relationship is “wrong” are equally as applicable to men as they are to women readers?

Gauvain: The most important lesson for men and women to get from this book is learning to trust your gut feelings. Those gut feelings can sound that little voice in your head that makes you stop and pause, or the funny feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, or the sense that something is just not right. Our gut feelings are triggered by the red flags we mentioned earlier. Some call it intuition — being able to trust yourself enough to do what is right. If you are dating a woman who is constantly setting off a gut reaction within you, listen carefully to what that little voice in your head is trying to tell you about her. Carefully consider your girlfriend’s behavior and how she treats you. Does she constantly belittle you in front of her friends? Is she critical and judgmental of you? Do you share the same common core values? Is she disrespectful towards you or important people in your life? Are you constantly walking on eggshells? What happens inside of you when she behaves this way? If you have been ignoring your feelings or pushing them aside, STOP! Take a moment to examine those feelings and ask yourself if you truly want to be committed to someone who causes you so much discomfort.

Q: In the book, you stress that it’s more important to listen to your instincts than to memorize a list of red flags — that recognizing your own unique set of red flags is the most important thing. Do you hear from male readers who’ve had trouble listening to their own inner doubts?

Gauvain: I think the reasons that men and women squelch their instincts are similar in many ways — with one key difference. The women’s reasons for staying revolved around their insecurities or feelings of loneliness. They told us: “I was tired of being alone” or “I didn’t think anyone better was going to come along.” The majority of men we talked to stuck with less-than-fulfilling relationships out of their sense of duty, obligation, or unwillingness to hurt their girlfriends’ feelings.

Q: Any advice for men in terms of knowing whether or not they’ve met The One?

Gauvain: There is no checklist that exists that will help you find The One. Everyone has a different idea about what they want in a partner. We encourage all of you men out there to not just make a checklist of attributes you want in a wife (funny, brunette, sexy, etc.), but to consider who you are, what’s important to you, and the type of life you want to lead. Once you have thought about that, consider the qualities your potential partner must possess in order to compliment this vision.

For example: “I have a sense of adventure and want to experience new things — hobbies, recreation, travel.” So it would be important to find a partner who shares a similar sense of adventure with your own. That doesn’t necessarily mean that she has to love bungee jumping and cliff-diving, but it does mean that she is open-minded, curious and willing to step out of her comfort zone. Or maybe it’s a matter of being flexible enough to sit on the sidelines while you attack the double black diamonds on a ski trip while she enjoys a book by the fireplace. And if you want (or already have) children, think about your goals as a parent. “I want a wife who is gentle with children but who can also be a caring disciplinarian who is not afraid to set limits.” Another thing to consider is what type of personality compliments you. “I want to be with someone who is patient and calm but who won’t get triggered when I overreact or get panicked.” See the subtle details in this list? It’s not just a checklist; rather, it’s about articulating the qualities and characteristics you need for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

It sounds like a cliché, but when you meet the right woman, you will just know. She will bring out the best in you, not the worst. She will be a constant source of strength for you through the good times and the bad. Your face will light up when you talk about her to your coworkers and friends. She will be the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last at night. She will be the one who brings you a week’s supply of homemade chicken soup when you get sick with the flu. She may not like to watch “the big game” with you, but she will respect your desired pastimes and have her own set of hobbies that she does independently of you, without complaining. She does exist… but sometimes you have to free yourself from the wrong woman before you can find the right one.

Q: Is How Not to Marry the Wrong Gal going to be your next book?

Milford: We believe that How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy contains all of the advice a man — yes, any man! — needs to figure out whether or not he’s dating the wrong woman. We recently heard from a man who wanted to “confirm our claim that this book is just as helpful for men.” He read it because he “…couldn’t let go of the guilt” he felt after breaking up with his girlfriend. He said, “I really broke her heart and I still feel bad about it, even though I know our relationship was extremely toxic.” He found the book to be helpful because “I spent three years with the wrong woman and spent an inordinate amount of time after the breakup trying to figure out why I stayed so long.” He said How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy helped him recognize the red flags, understand what went wrong, and gave him insights he needs to have a better relationship in the future.

Theo Pauline Nestor is the author of How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed and a regular contributor to Happen magazine. Visit her at www.theopaulinenestor.com

50 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

  1. Guys aren’t psychic, mind telling them what you mean?
  2. Guys don’t like to be used as pawns in trying to make your friends jealous.
  3. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. Better watch out girls.
  4. The biggest turn off for guys is to see girls smoking.
  5. The biggest turn on for guys are the girls who workout.
  6. Girls who don’t want to listen to the truth shouldn’t be asking any questions.
  7. Ending a heated conversation with “Fine” or “Whatever” isn’t considered acceptable.
  8. If you want sex, just ask.
  9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. It takes 10 couples to come up with one sweet thing that they put up in the movies.
  10. Only models are able to carry off most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.
  11. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
  12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
  13. Guys need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.
  14. Guys don’t care about how gorgeous you are, it’s goodbye, adios, and sayonara if you’re being a bitch.
  15. All guys are kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let them know.
  16. Guys are more emotional than you think. If they loved you at one point, it’ll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.
  17. A guy would do just about anything to get you to notice him.
  18. Guys do not look into minute detailing. So, if you gave up a quarter of an inch from your 20 inches long hair, don’t expect your guy to know that instantly.
  19. Guys like porn!
  20. Anything said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
  21.  “The game is on” will be considered an acceptable excuse to postpone any serious conversations.
  22. Cooking makes a girl all the more attractive.
  23. You can’t get mad if your guy refuses to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of his good-looking friends.
  24. Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control, unless operating means handing it to him.
  25. The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”
  26. Video games have helped men develop awesome finger skills that only encourage them to play more often.
  27. Critiquing a man’s driving is outright unacceptable.
  28. Guys’ night outs are sacred events. If you ask any question about it, you’ll be castigated.
  29. Believe it or not, 99.5% of the time men honestly don’t mean to hurt you.
  30. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
  31. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
  32. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.
  33. Don’t hold it against your guy if he starts to cry after a good sports movie, and was laughing outrageously last night when the two of you were watching an emotional drama saga.
  34. Leaving a message like “You know what?! Mmm… Never mind…” would make a guy hanging on to that thought all day long and reach a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. Don’t ever do that!
  35. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
  36. Guys love you more than you love them.
  37. No matter how much guys talk about hotness or sex appeal, personality is key.
  38. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
  39. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.
  40. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
  41. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
  42. You like when your guy calls and asks you out for dinner and pays for you, right? Well yeah, guys like it once in a while too.
  43. It’s natural for a guy’s eyes to wander.
  44. It’s not that guys don’t want to make their girlfriends happy; it’s just that sometimes, they don’t know how.
  45. A guy would give his right arm to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.
  46. Not all guys are jerks. Just because one is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents all of them.
  47. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he isn’t doing it all for sex. It means he likes you more than you can imagine.
  48. Even if you dumped a guy months ago and he loved you, he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be to have you back in his life.
  49. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.
  50. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over novels and make-ups.
The 5 Most Deadly Relationship Questions
Some questions just aren’t worth the oxygen you expend asking them. Especially in love. Here, relationship expert Kate Taylor reveals the mistakes you don’t want to make out loud
“Did you get my message?”
Anyone who knows anything about love and life immediately recognizes this question for what it is – the relationship equivalent of the pin being removed from a hand-grenade. You have approximately 10 seconds to get yourself to a place of safety, and you’re not going to make it if you simply reply, “Which one?” (with all its undertones of SMS complacency). What the asker of this question is really asking, of course, is: “Do you love me? Why don’t you reply to stuff I send you? You used to reply, you used to bombard me with texts all day. But these days, oh no, you’re too busy with your fancy friends and your new iPad to bother with the likes of me. Well, perhaps I’ll stop texting you then. I’ll use up my free text allowance exchanging filth with that ex who still emails me when they’re drunk. Would you like that? Would you? WOULD YOU?” The only way to bring this back is to put down whatever you’re doing – as long as it’s not your partner – and say, “Yes, shall we discuss it now?” You do risk that your partner will test you – saying deliberately oblique stuff like, “So are we on?” or throwing out a bluff like, “Yellow or blue?” – but you have to take the chance. Often all your partner really wants to hear is, “I love you.” And the sound of their text-alert a bit more often.
“Was it good for you?”

Really, come on – what are they going to say? Lying there, damply steaming in the afterglow, no partner is ever going to give you a truthful post-match analysis: “The first five minutes were a sheer joy, but you lost your way in the second half. I expected better from you, I admit, especially after your recent season in Brazil.” You’re only asking because you feel insecure and that’s never arousing. You might try to get feedback in a different way, by just flat-out complimenting them on their performance, but if they just say, “Thanks,” you’ll feel worse. The best thing to do is keep quiet and assume they thought it was incredible – and that they’re just not telling you because they’ve lost the strength to speak.
“Shall we go halves?”
This never ends well. Asked by a woman, this question means, “Do you still love me? Talk is cheap, I need you to say it with your Visa card.” Asked by a man, it just sounds like, “Wow, you’ve gained weight. I’m not subsidising those hips anymore, sister.” If you haven’t already worked-out a satisfactory bill-splitting arrangement, now isn’t the time to bring that up (even if the waitress has cleared away the sharp knives, those wineglasses can still be lethal), but try to address it in the future. Most people find that taking turns to pay for dates is less soul-destroying than going 50\50 on each one. Or replace expensive dates with thoughtful, cheap ones – a picnic where you’ve prepared your partner’s favourite foods, for example, or rent their favourite film and throw in a box of microwave popcorn.
“Do you know that girl?”
…Because if you don’t, and you really have just spent the last five minutes gawping at her like I don’t exist, I’m going to take you down into a universe of pain. When I’ve finished with you, you’ll be begging me to remove your eyeballs just so you can never disrespect me this way again. Not that you’ll be able to speak.”
If you’re a woman and you find yourself asking this question, slap yourself. The only way to keep your sassy edge in a relationship is to maintain as much self-control as you can. Keep “dignity” as your mantra and you won’t go far wrong – you won’t booty-text at 3am, you won’t drink too much on dates, and you won’t let insecurity leak out in seemingly innocuous ways like asking this question. If you don’t like how you look and fear your partner might find someone else, then improve yourself. Not to keep him, but to make yourself feel better. Look after yourself, exercise, wear your best clothes. Feel like a catch!
If you’re a man on the receiving end of this question, there can be only one answer: “What, that ugly one?” Then check you still have all your limbs. If you do, you dodged a bullet so vow never to make the mistake again. Scientists say there are biological reasons men leer at girls, stuff to do with “movement in the peripheral vision” and “survival instinct”, but don’t quote me unless you want the rest of your sentences to be typed out by a pencil attached to your forehead. Just keep your eyes on your own prize – the girl you’re with.
“Where is this going?”
Ah, there it is. The death knell. The knock at the door from the Four Horsemen of the relationship aplocalypse... or from the removal men your partner booked in case your answer doesn’t involve dropping to one knee. It’s the big one. How much do I hate it? Let me count the ways. Firstly, it’s usually asked by women and puts them squarely in the position of no-power. Asking this says, “You’re in the driving seat, you get to choose my future.” Yeuch. My advice is always – set a personal timeline of when you’d like to be committed to your partner and when it’s passed, THAT is the time to speak.  Not now, three weeks in, when you still barely know each other. Don’t worry that it’ll drag on for years and you’ll be wasting time – the timeline will stop that happening. Secondly, this question implies there’s no communication in the relationship – the future, as a topic, should come up naturally as you get closer, not have to be nailed-down artificially. And thirdly, it says that the goal of Marriage, Babies, Forever, is more important than the person you’re actually with. Tick-tock, come on, if you’re not going to propose then I can’t hang around! How can that be flattering? Instead, ask questions that tell you if this is even a person you’d LIKE to spend the rest of your life with. What are their political views?

What’s your love language?

What’s your love language?
  • 1. Mark Twain said, ‘I can live for two months on a good compliment’. What do you think?



  • 2. You are feeling a little down, so you’d really like your partner to:



  • 3. In general, you don’t like it when your partner:



  • 4. You’ve forgotten to buy something and so you appreciate it when your partner says:



  • 5. You partner explains that they won’t be dining with you this evening. You:



  • 6. You’ve got problems with some of your colleagues and you discuss it with your partner. You’ll be touched if they:



  • 7. You’ve finally got the promotion you’ve been after. You announce the news to your partner, who:



  • 8. To spontaneously show your love to your partner, you would usually:



  • 9. You partner’s birthday is coming up soon. How are you preparing for it?



  • 10. You’ve accomplished something quite difficult. You’d like your partner to:



  • 11. Your work mates are celebrating your 10 years with the company. You are really touched because:



  • 12. Your best memory as a couple was when your partner:



  • 13. For your friends’ wedding anniversary dinner which gift would you buy for them from an interior decoration shop?



  • 14. You feel ill at ease when you partner hasn’t:



  • 15. If you had to choose an image that symbolises love, it would be:



  • 16. You feel even more like making love when your partner:



20  Romantic Things To Say To A Woman
speaking romanticallyAny man who can learn to speak the seductive language of sensual romance will be able to generate greater amounts of passion and appreciation from his woman. 


Here is a list of 20 romantic things to say to a woman that will help any guy to get started.
1.       “I don’t have a reason for loving you. Because if I had a reason for loving you…I’m afraid that I’d also have a reason for leaving you.”
2.       “You know, I think you’re my favorite person in the world.” (with a playful smile while looking into her eyes)
3.       “I wish I could be with you forever, but that still wouldn’t be enough time to love you.”
4.       “This feels right.” (while embracing her tightly and romantically)
5.       “I miss you already.” (say something like this right after you’ve finished spending a romantic evening together)
6.       “Kiss me again.” (look deep into her eyes, pull her close, and demand it…in a sexy romantic way)
7.       “You’re amazing.” (righter after intimacy, say this to her, but be sincere and kiss her shoulder or forehead)
8.       “I wouldn’t trade this night for the world.”
9.       “Relax, let me love you completely.” (this is an excellent romantic thing to say to create a sense of comfort and security as you get intimate with your woman)
10.   “She’s priceless, irreplaceable, and she’s mine.” (say this to someone else in reference to your woman, but say it when your woman is around to hear it)
11.   “This feels like a dream.”
12.   “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
13.   “Wrap your arms around me.”
14.   “I’ve been thinking about you, and I think I miss you.” (give her a random call and say this in a playful and romantic way)
15.   “Talk to me, I’ve missed you.” (say this while holding her hands and lightly stroking it)
16.   “I love the way you taste.”
17.   “I’ve dreamed about this moment my whole life.” (pick a special moment with her to say this)
18.   “I’m yours.”
19.   “Life’s would be a prison without your love.”
20.   “You inspire me.”
The most important thing to take away from this sample list of romantic things to say to a woman is that it should be in the moment and always fun, playful, and romantic. Depending on the moment, you can say romantic things that are sexy or sweet, but always be sincere with what you’re saying.
Also, keep in mind that your woman is different from any other, and you should understand what her deepest romantic desires are. Say romantic things that are unique to her interests and passions. Tell her romantic things that make her feel sexy, desired, and more importantly, special.
The Secret Quality That Makes A Woman Irresistible To Men

feminine grace 
One of the most attractive things about a woman is her ability to influence a man without the need to be forceful. Women often think that to get a man’s attention or to get him to do something will require endless amounts of nagging, argument, or some other kind of ineffective behavior. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, most men are more easily influenced by something else that a woman possesses. And not only is it a persuasive quality, but it is also extremely attractive to men. It is one of those qualities that is sure to help any woman attract the kind of man that truly resonates with her on a deeper level. This simple, subtle thing is called feminine grace. Any woman who would like to become much more attractive to the kind of man that will provide much more fulfilling companionship should consider developing her own inner feminine gracefulness.

Gracefulness Is Sexy

Gracefulness can make a woman desirable, sexy, and powerful. When a woman has feminine grace, she not only becomes much more attractive to the opposite sex, but she lives her life with more purpose and passion. It is this very passion and enthusiasm for life that attracts men to such women. This kind of woman has a kind of sexiness that men cannot deny. You may have read stories of women throughout history that men have went to war for. You’ve probably read about women that have started wars and ended them, or women that have influenced men to do great things, to go on great journeys, or to make great discoveries. These were the kinds of women that had influence over even the most powerful of men. And the sole reason for that is because of the feminine gracefulness that they possessed which attracts men. A woman’s power of influence and attractiveness when it comes to men goes beyond the physical into the realm of the spiritual. It is a woman’s female essence that makes her magnetic for men and an inspiration for other women.

Gracefulness and Romance

When it comes to romance, every woman should go to work on developing this inner feminine essence. Men may not be outright romantic creatures by nature, but a woman can influence the man who resonates with her being to be more romantic by using her female essence, or her feminine grace. The idea of romance includes the idea of the chivalrous man. And nothing can trigger this powerful feeling in a man as a woman who has fully embraced her feminine strength by developing her queen-like gracefulness.

Graceful Communication

A woman who exudes feminine grace is comfortable with her feminine nature. She is confident in herself and embraces the fact that she is a woman. She is ladylike but assertive. She can communicate without words. In essence, not only is she aware of whom she is, but she is fully in-tuned with what she is. She knows and loves the fact that she is a woman. When a graceful woman enters the room, men simply know. She doesn’t need to say anything or even reveal her presence with words. Her very essence is magnetic. She communicates with her body language in a way that says that she is comfortable with her sexuality, and that she expects to be appreciated and adored. She appreciates the fact that she is the fairer of the sexes, and she lives passionately.

What Gracefulness Represents

What she desires more than anything is to be appreciated for the fact that she is a woman, and as a woman she desires one thing from her masculine equivalent: Feminine Freedom. The graceful woman wants freedom from masculine responsibilities and masculine expectations. She desires freedom to display her emotions as they come to her, and the freedom to express her sexuality in her own unique way with grace and enthusiasm. The more a woman can communicate her beauty with gracefulness, the more attractive she will become to chivalrous men. And what can possibly be more romantic than the game of the woman as the graceful beauty and the man as the chivalrous knight?
How Can You Get More Passion, Rekindle The Romance In Your Relationship, And Make Your Love
how to be supportive in a relationship
If you’re looking to increase the amount of intimacy and harmony in your relationship, then it’s very important that you learn how to become more supportive in your relationship.
It’s quite easy to fall into selfish behavior in any kind of relationship. We may have been used to having things a certain way, and we expect to always have things our way. We may sometimes succumb to the idea that the world revolves around us, and that our partner should realize this as well.
But in a healthy relationship, we all know that this kind of thinking won’t benefit anyone in the long-run. And if you want to build a successful and blissful relationship, you’re going to have to learn how to be more supportive of your partner.
So if you feel that you’re ready to be less selfish and invest more energy into your loved one, here are four love tips to help you in your quest to become more supportive in your relationship:

1. Expand Your Comfort Zone

If you want to be more supportive of your partner, learn to expand your comfort zone. This is important when it comes to loving someone unconditionally; simply because in order to do so you’ll have to develop the habit of doing the things that they might enjoy doing, even if you don’t.
There will be certain activities that your partner will be interested in that you may not be comfortable with. You may simply not be confident with certain activities or interests simply because you’ve never really given it a chance.
Loving someone completely requires courage. It requires the courage to step outside of your comfort zone and take a chance to engage someone else in their world and on their terms every now and then.

2. Keep an Open, Non-Judgmental Mind

Be open to new ideas and to new experiences. Don’t be so rigid in your beliefs and opinions that you cannot see your partner’s point of view. This is essential to becoming more supportive in your relationship.
As human beings we crave to have persons around us who truly understand us and who take a sincere interest in our opinions and ideas. Allow your partner the freedom of sharing their deepest desires, beliefs, and ideas with you without being judged.
Allow your partner to express themselves fully, and encourage it. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything they have to share, but do your best to listen and understand them without criticizing them.

3. Remember Your Differences

To grow more supportive in your relationship, keep in mind at all times that your partner is just as unique as you are. Keep in mind that there are no two people on this planet who are completely alike in terms of their likes, dislikes, passions, and interests.
And though you and your partner may have varying degrees of tastes for different things, that doesn’t mean you can’t be supportive of one another. Allow them the pleasure of being themselves without trying to change them.
If you can keep in mind that your partner is a completely unique and special person apart from you, you’ll have a much better time being more supportive in your relationship. Remember, the world does not revolve around you. :)

4. Take an Active Interest

A great way to be more supportive of your partner is to become deeply invested in their interests. By taking an active interest in what they’re interested in, you’ll be making an investment in the emotional bank account of your relationship, and thereby adding to the depth of your trust and intimacy.
In order to be more supportive through taking an active interest, you’ll have to learn how to ask the right questions that will deepen the levels of communication between you and your partner.
And  as you take an active interest by asking the right questions, you’ll  open up the channels of communication and allow your partner to speak more confidently about the things they’d like you to be more supportive about in your relationship.

Words of wisdom:  I've learned that ......
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it

I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe
Open to the WONDER of every moment, to LIFE, right NOW. You are ALIVE. YOU are a MIRACLE!
 

Click on the Bird